The Comedy
Corner
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People who say
they sleep like a baby usually
don't have one.
Leo
J. Burke
Joined a health
club last year, spent four hundred
bucks. Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently, you have to show
up.
Rich
Ceisler
Vegetarian -
that's an old Indian word meaning
"lousy hunter."
Andy
Rooney
The
biggest seller is cookbooks and the
second is diet books - how not to
eat what you've just learned how to
cook.
Andy
Rooney
The
last fight was my fault. My wife
asked,
"What's on the
TV?"...I said, 'Dust!"
My
wife and I have the secret to
making a marriage last. Two times a
week, we go to a nice restaurant, a
little wine, good food.. She goes
Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Only
in America do people order double
cheeseburgers,
large
fries, and a diet coke.
I've
gained a few pounds around the
middle. The only lower-body
garments I own that still fit me
comfortably are towels.
Dave
Barry
Always live
within your income,
even
if you have to borrow money to do
so.
Josh
Billings
To
stop smoking is the easiest thing I
ever did.
I
ought to know; I've done it a
thousand times.
Mark
Twain
I
told my wife: You could lose a lot
of weight if you'd just carry all
your diet books around the block
once a day.
Bill
Hoest
I
always hold hands with my
wife.
If I
let go, she starts to
shop.
I get
plenty of exercise: jumping to
conclusions,
pushing my luck,
and dodging deadlines!
Lampner's Law of
Employment:
When
leaving work late, you will go
unnoticed.
When
you leave work early, you will meet
the
boss
in the parking lot.
Nothing makes it
easier to resist temptation than a
proper bringing-up, a sound set of
values - and witnesses.
Franklin P.
Jones |
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Quote
Corner / Weight Loss
Tips
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